It’s OKAY if that Mental Health Cure Doesn’t Work for You
It's Okay If That Mental Health "Cure" Doesn't Work For You
Seemingly overnight, self-care has become a household term. The rise in popularity of lifestyle and beauty bloggers, as well as an increased interest in making the most of time away from school and work, has caused thousands to hop on the trend. Now don’t get us wrong. This is a good thing. Work can get overwhelming and it is important to have ways to unwind and recharge after a long day; going to the gym, taking a bubble bath, watching TV, using a face mask, reading, or all of the above! However, self-care culture takes a dangerous turn when it gets seen as a replacement for mental health treatment. This blog will (hopefully) offer some comfort as to why your daily bubble bath has not done enough to soothe your anxiety, as well as attempt to ease the stigma some may have against proper mental health treatment. If you’re looking for our favorite ways to practice self-care or our top 10 brands of face masks, you are unfortunately in the wrong place. But, we advise giving this article a read anyway.
I’ve gone to the gym every night this week and have had three bubble baths, so why am I still anxious??
As someone living with OCD, this has haunted me, and I am sure that I am not the only one. Here are some tips we have to look out for that may indicate that you need some professional guidance.
1) If your regular practice of going to the gym (or reading or taking bubble baths) is beginning to feel more like a ritual or a chore than a relaxing way to end the day, that is not the self-care tactic for you. Outside influences may cause it to appear as if the proper way to care for yourself has to look nice, but if it’s not enjoyable, then it’s not enjoyable. You don’t have to skip the gym, but do not count that as your self-care. Instead, embrace what truly makes you feel content (and if it’s not hurting you or anyone else), then do it! There is no judgment here, even if it's axe throwing, scrolling through Reddit while lying on your bed, or rewatching the same three sitcoms until you can quote them by heart. (Yes, these are all things I have done before).
2) If you are experiencing frequent mood swings, intense anger, or sadness and/or distress that no amount of self-care is alleviating, it may be time to look for professional help. We celebrate helpers here as they can ensure you find the missing piece that is causing your self-care to cause you more frustration than relaxation!
3) If you are experiencing significant changes in eating or sleeping habits that disrupt your daily routine, this may be for you. Your body is a vessel, and no amount of face masks, and manicures will support sustainable change if your body is not properly cared for. Your mind cannot care for you if you do not care for your body. If upon noticing these changes, you cannot correct your eating and sleeping, it may be time to seek outside help.
Ending the stigma
Scheduling an appointment with a mental health professional should not be any more nerve-wracking to do or taboo to talk about than making a doctor’s appointment. Here are common stigmas and misunderstandings from others that may be causing you to hesitate before getting the help you need.
(We blame Criminal Minds for this one). Despite the stories pop culture has monetized of people going to the “shrink,” before they get locked up in the insane asylum or the loony bin, plenty of people live vibrant, full, safe lives while also seeking treatment for mental illness. If someone upon hearing of your decision to get help calls you “crazy”, we advise reminding them that you are the same you that you have always been. (Or ya know, just ditch them as a friend cause AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT). Quite frankly, the only thing crazy about mental illness is not getting help when you need it!
2. You are different.
Do you feel different? And is different always a bad thing? I don’t know about you, but I don’t stigmatize my friends with broken bones because the cast on their foot is “different.” Anyone who would seek to isolate you because of your mental health diagnosis is not a very good friend to have around during your treatment (see above- AINT NOBOODDYYY). We advise that if they tell you that you seem different, to say “thank you” for noticing that the treatment is helping.
3. You’re doing this to yourself.
Repeat after me: “My mental illness is not my fault. I am not doing this for attention. I deserve the help I am getting.” Got it? Mental illnesses are often genetic or predisposed to certain people due to elements of nature and nurture. Meeting with a therapist, and taking medication (when recommended and diagnosed), are essential ways to treat mental illness, especially by targeting both the biological aspects of a mental illness and the cognitive behavioral ones.
Ways that self-care does improve mental health
This is not to say that self-care is not an asset to maintaining mental health. Taking time out of your day to prioritize yourself and do what fits your needs, reminds you (whether you realize it or not) that you are indeed important and worthy of love. Without these intentional acts of love, it’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and neglect your needs. So explore what works best for you and know you don’t have to fit in any sort of box… And if all else fails, we’re happy to try and be the “box” that steps in.