To a Body that Shaped Another

I still quite can’t fathom the indisputable truth that I am made of you.

The bones that keep me steady, the blood that keeps me warm, every bit of heart that keeps me alive. All of it painstakingly crafted and polished by your own.

You directed all your energy towards shaping me, even the embers you should’ve saved for yourself. You made it so difficult for yourself to get out of bed, to move as you pleased, to dance as you loved.

To use that body that was so rightfully yours.

And somehow you found the grace to share it with me.

No, share is not quite the right word. This was not a child having to sulkily take turns with others for a favorite daycare toy. This was not a group of friends passing a large bag of fries around. This was not even a pair of longtime lovers, easily nestling close to each other on a biting winter day.

This was hard.

This was you stretching yourself as thin as possible. Leaving silvery scars along your skin, and deeper marks in your soul.

This was so, so hard.

Yet you say that those marks are fine, good even. That creating me changed your perspective on life for the better, that I am your new world.

Worldmaker. That really is the perfect word for you. You’ve gifted me the murmur of earth beneath my feet, the taste of air in my lungs, the warmth of sun across my nose that’s shaped just like yours.

But I will never forget that the first warmth I’ve ever known was you. That you were the first tenderness and security that wrapped all around me. Keeping me perfectly safe so that I could grow in peace.

And you still do so, as I continue to grow.

I’m grown enough now to appreciate the harrowing change you put yourself through to bring me into existence, though as I said before, I have yet to comprehend it.

Can anyone truly ever grasp the transcendental feat you have accomplished? Shaping a new soul out of thin air.

It doesn’t even sound real. Like something out of a fairytale, a fantastical myth preened by a performer to charm an audience.

But you are so much better than a righteous princess or knight in shining armor. A thousand times better. A million. More than all of the glimmering stars that make up the infinity of our universe.

You are my mother.